Cleaning is a source of a lot of arguments in this house. It takes a lot of restraint for me not to turn cleaning into a power struggle with her, so today’s victory is very sweet. Now when she tells me that she can’t clean her playroom all by herself, I can remind her of today’s thorough job!

If you’re looking for a movie for a preschool girl, I highly recommend Annie. Who knew singing orphans could be so inspiring!

31 lbs, 40.75 inches

That puts Elizabeth in the 50-75th percentile for weight and above the 97th percentile in height!

I haven’t written much about Elizabeth recently, so I’ll try to catch you up.

Elizabeth went through a rough patch when her sister started crawling. Elena was becoming her own person–capable of getting into Elizabeth’s toys. Elizabeth is quite entertaining. It’s so fun hearing her talk about things from her perspective. Yesterday, I heard her telling a girl in the store all about our Labor Day Monday. This is about how it went “Daddy didn’t go to work yesterday because it was a HOLIDAY. I went on a big-girl bike ride with my daddy. We didn’t go anywhere yesterday because my mom was making chutney.” Yes, the conversation was one-sided, and she was referring to Fig Chutney–we’ve been picking pounds and pounds of figs off of our bounteous fig tree again this year

It’s frustrating that someone with such a vocabulary can’t seem to give us the heads-up when she’s getting tired or hungry. We’re left looking for the clues of a pending meltdown. A meltdown for her usually involves doing something she knows she’s not allowed to do, like hit me or throw something, some crying and screaming. So far, her performances have all been at the house. I read somewhere that the “terrible twos” can largely be attributed to hunger. I definitely believe that a well-fed, well-napped toddler is definitely less likely to throw a tantrum.

She loves riding her big-girl bike around the neighborhood and has gotten strong enough to accompany us on long walks which is nice because Elena is in the stroller and I don’t want to buy a double stroller. I wish I could remember some of the hilarious things Elizabeth has come up with recently. Sometimes she’ll think through situations better than I do–oh like the other night when she went to sit on the steps to watch Frank mow she took a hand towel out with her. I said “what’s that for?” and she replied that she didn’t want her feet on the hot bricks.

A lot of her friends are in Mother’s Day Out or Pre-school, but we didn’t want to start school yet. I thought I would give her some lessons at home and see how she does. My first “lesson” was about the letter L. I wasn’t sure if she “got it” until that night she brought a ruler to me that I use for woodworking. “I found an L mommy!” Indeed it was!

Co-sleeping isn’t sounding as “out-there” as it used to. Opponents of cosleeping (when baby sleeps in bed with mom) will often point out that there’s a suffocation hazard. I would be interested to know how many deaths have occurred in cribs or other baby gadgets compared to a planned cosleeping arrangement. I say planned because there are guidelines for safe cosleeping. If you bring the baby to bed because you’re exhausted one night and haven’t implemented the safety measures then it would be more dangerous than planned cosleeping.

I definitely feel safer with Elena sleeping soundly in my armpit than I would with her elsewhere!

This morning we donned our pro-breastfeeding shirts and headed out for an hour-long nurse-out at the Evans, GA Applebees. We had a total of 6 adults and 8 kids–not a bad showing on a GA-SC football weekend!

The nurse-out was in response to an incident at a Kentucky Applebees earlier this summer. A mom sitting in a corner booth was asked to cover her baby with a blanket while breastfeeding or leave. She produced a copy of Kentucky law stating her right to breastfeed without interference, but the store manager still demanded she don a blanket. She left the store and followed up with a letter to the owner of the franchises in that area. The company that owns a bunch of Applebees in that area ignored letters for 2 months before responding that they were considering making BLANKETS AVAILABLE at their locations. Yes, folks you read me right. Women will be forced to don unfashionable Applebee’s baby blankets and try to keep the blanket from slipping while infants squirm underneath begging for fresh air. How any eating gets accomplished for either mom or baby is anyone’s guess.

Applebee’s callous and uninformed response to this incident sparked the call for the nurse-out. A nurse-out is an event to educate the public (as opposed to a nurse-in which would be a reaction to a particular event). In this case, the goal was to draw public awareness to the discrimination that mothers and babies face and to encourage companies to implement a formal company-wide breastfeeding friendly policy.

Woman are constantly being discriminated against, singled out when they are approached to cover-up, move or be more discreet. This can cause women to feel like they are doing something shameful or inappropriate. It has to be that people are just offended at the act of nursing, not that they actually ever see anything It must be shocking for some folks to realize that we are indeed mammals–we nurse our young! I’ve never witnessed anyone (except at a La Leche League meeting) “whipping it out.” Even if they do catch a glimpse, I’m sure it’s not anything more than you would see on TV or even at the mall.

Society is giving women conflicting messages. We are told by the American Academy of Pediatrics to breastfeed for at least a year, but then told not to do it in public, or if you do, you’d better not offend anybody. So when does my baby’s LEGAL right to eat anywhere, anytime outweigh someone’s offense at witnessing it?

I think it takes more than laws, it takes people in society to demand change. In the last day or so, I have been thinking about what it would be like if American society were totally accepting of breastfeeding. I’ve actually let myself imagine it. I’ve imagined going into a restaurant and not having to remember to ask for a booth and sit with my back to the crowd. Not having the “what if Elena needs to nurse” plan running through my head while I’m out. But can American society ever view the breast as an instrument rather than an ornament? Would nursing in bathrooms, cars and fitting rooms be a thing of the past? Will these stories of women getting thrown out of restaurants and planes horrify my girls when/if they become mothers?

Already, things are changing. As I look at the reports from groups around the country, many Applebees have enacted pro-breastfeeding policies and posted the international breastfeeding icon in their windows. Yes, breastfeeding is normal and if you don’t like it, put a blanket over YOUR head.

I’m working on a toy buying checklist:

-Does it require imagination to use or do kids need to know about the character and watch TV to know how you’re supposed to use it.
-Will it be trashed after a few uses?
-If it breaks, is it repairable?
-Does it require batteries?
-If it does end up in the trash is it recyclable?
-What is the environmental impact of trashing it or making it in the first place?
-Can Elena choke on it?
-Does it encourage sedentary activity?

Whew! I’m finding out that shopping at the dollar store is out. Buying action figures is out. Buying a plastic outdoor playset is out. Instead, we can buy craft supplies, outdoor toys, books, dress-up stuff . . . For her birthday, she got: a tent, a Cabbage patch kid doll, Bella Dancerella DVD with ballet bar and a Barbie doll. I could have done better, but it IS hard! Also, we said “no gifts” on her party invites so we wouldn’t end up with a bunch of toys that don’t meet the new criteria.

Elizabeth rarely lacks something to do. The other day, she asked me to make a drive-through with a box we had around. She’s spent hours making cappuchinos and baby mochas for the family. Today, she has taken all the utensils out of the drawer and put them “to bed” all over the desk and windowsill. I said, “you’re going to have to wash them when you’re through.” She replied “that’s OK, they like showers!” It’s neat seeing her imagination at work, and I just have to get used to her using non-traditional toys and watching out for chopstick fairies and talking black beans.

Silverware Slumber Party

Elizabeth’s Drive-Thru